"If someone hits you or bashes you, and your first reaction is:"
Deep back inside your heart or brain, you have decided to cut down ties with him or her. You say in your thoughts or loudly, I won't talk to them again. Moreover, you continue planning what else action I can take, So that person or thing might not bother me again.
Or
You take a deep breath and sit down and think "What could you do?". How should you react? Should I keep quiet or ignore it. "Is there anything I need to fix? Should I clear my position in a very polite way, no matter how hard it is? 🤔
You observed your emotions, self-aware, and being empathic to not respond in the same way as they did.
"Congratulations!" you are emotionally intelligent.👏
According to the dictionary:
Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of people around you.
So the question is how can we learn to regulate our emotions.
"Confront yourself", know yourself, and identify the trigger point. Learn from your past experiences when reactions were disastrous. It will help you to become thoughtful, reflect on past mistakes, and gain insights.
Adopt an unbiased approach, and try to stand in the shoes of other people. This will help you to understand the emotions of others. You learn to treat others the way you want to be treated. It will help you to become an effective listener. This teaches you that Being Empathetic is such a significant element for emotional well-being.
"A healthy body leads to a healthy mind." Exercise, a healthy and simple diet, and Self-care also help to regulate your emotions. A happy and positive mindset makes us a better observant.
Read books, work on self-growth, and know your Ikigai flow(Japanese term), It means finding activities or hobbies that immerse you to the extent that you temporarily forget any difficulties. It stop you from becoming reactionary and Redirects your energy toward positive tasks.
Time heals, "You start analysing things more clearly.". With time, your perception changes. Things reach at a better conclusion or solution.
Journal writing: Mostly We are unsure about what to write. Here is a quick tip, write down what had happened, how you felt, what were you up to and where did you end up. What were the Reasons and effects? Expressing our feelings benefits us to connect with ourselves as well as it makes it easy to move on. In addition, It assists us to become more focused and organized.
"Prayers" "Lastly, but very importantly," ask help from Allah Subhano wa Taala. Allah Guides you in the right direction and helps you to tackle obstacles. Indeed His help is a greater source than anyone else. Remember Spirituality generates tranquility. No matter what the situation is, you are calm under pressure just because you believe, that there is a Divine Power with you.
So With a little consistent effort, one can learn or improve their emotional intelligence.
We need to be careful that by being Highly emotionally intelligent individuals we might not focus on agreeing to compromise on wrong actions just to please others, and not being tempted to manipulate others just because we are good emotional readers. or being Hesitant to make tough choices that go against popular opinion to save harmonious relationships source.
In a nutshell, if we are not emotionally intelligent, It's not as bad at all. Gradually your anger cools down and you change your perception. Eventually, you come back to the previous routine, previous patterns. Just we have to ponder and accept our overreactions and try our best to find solutions or fix them. We should learn how we can improve and become a better version of ourselves.
On the other hand, It's not easy to think outside the box and create ideas to handle the different scenarios intelligently but make sure it shouldn't cost our credibility and genuineness.
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